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A
World So Near
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My daughter died over a year ago. From the very moment
that I heard of her death, a great sense of calm and peace came over me.
I don't know how, but I had even known a week before that she was going
to die. She had been on a trip, and a week later on coming home, she died
instantly after the car she was riding in went off the road and crashed
into a tree. Now I never thought of people
growing in heaven until some time had passed after her death, and my prayers
and encounters with her and God became a common part of my life. My faith
has deepened like never before. You see, my daughter was only 17 when she
died. Even though I had a sense of peace about her death, I still worried
about her and prayed for her a lot right after she died. I can only think
that it was the motherly instinct of worry inside me. But to calm me, she
visited me in my dreams, and then later I visited her in my prayers.Over the course of this past year,
I have actually watched her mature! At least for the sake of understanding,
I believe that she is now somewhere around the age of 25. At first, in my
encounters with her, I saw her much like the daughter she was here on earth—full
of youthful spunk and attitude. But then, as time went on, she seemed to
begin to mature. I sensed somehow that it was the acceptance of her new
state of being that seemed to calm her. And she was no longer considered
a "new" spirit in heaven. She was quickly adapting, becoming more
attuned with things in heaven, and I felt that I was losing her to a world
I could not go to. Ever since her death, I had felt as if she were in a
far away country, one that I couldn't visit her in or speak to her. But
I simply had to learn a different way. Instead, I had to rely on my prayers
and meditation in the spirit to visit with her.I have been aware of her activities.
She has been "flying" to and fro on earth at times, visiting her
friends in the town were she went to school last. They can't see her, but
she can see them. She has also continued to visit me, but more so now only
upon my deep desire to see and visit with her. She is very busy and preoccupied
with her duties in heaven more and more. She smiles sweetly all the time
and doesn't seem to miss anyone here at all.I miss her human presence sometimes,
and that's when I ask to visit with her in my prayers—that's when she
comes.Recently she has told me to speak
more with Jesus in my prayers, and to focus on serving Him and helping others
while I'm here. She tells me she is very busy and that we will be together
again anyway. I have found that I now have a confidence and peace that I
never had before when talking about God, heaven or His word in the Bible.
Heaven is no longer such a far away place to me, but rather a place close
in my heart. I speak to my daugther often, not as if she's dead, but as
if she's living—just somewhere else. I am also letting her go more
and more to do what she needs to, and I am spending more time with Jesus.
 Sandy Holte |
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Copyright
© 1992-2002 by Betty J. Eadie |
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