These memories of life in heaven are my memories and how I express them. I feel you should know of these things because they are true and are vital for your soul to know. They are not scary or evil. Instead, they are peaceful, relaxing and reassuring. I recall my memories when I am troubled or afraid of something. My troubles and fears just go away as I pray for Gods help. Then my memories will come and reassure me peacefully. This is true even when I have forgotten what is right or wrong in Gods eyes because I am sinning, making my life here harder for myself than it should be. I would like to dedicate these written memories to my niece Andrea, because I may never have written them down without her encouragement. May God bless you Andrea. I also thank Betty for this opportunity to share my memories with everyone.

My first memories of heaven came to me when I was about 10 years old. I was not sure at first what I was remembering or why I was having this kind of memory. I remembered only bits and pieces at first, and I was confused, so I asked my mother what they were. She just giggled and said I must have had a good dream. My older sisters and brothers said it was my wild imagination. I asked people at Sunday School, and they would not believe me. They just brushed me off. But suddenly I remembered that these memories were something I must not forget. So I concentrated on them, and then more began coming. They filled in the gaps and started making sense to me.

My general memories about heaven are that it is so peaceful and so full of love, kindness, and happiness. Everyone gets along. There is no hate, no lying, and no anger. There is no hot or cold, it is just the perfect temperature all the time. There are no verbal words. Your thoughts are all that are needed to communicate. There is no time, or at least it didn't seem like it to me. I don't remember being distinctly male or female there. You have no body. You are only a spirit. And it only takes a thought to move about—just like here, but you don't have to wait for your body to keep up. You can zip right over to where you want to be like a humming bird.

There is so much more, but I don't know how to express things such as the radiance of Gods light and love. Some things are just so hard to express in words because they are so much more than we have words for. But I will share some specific things I remember from there—my heaven.

One of my most peaceful memories is that of sitting close to God in his light. I felt so secure, so safe, so loved. I also felt an enormous love for him too. He was busy doing something, and I was watching him. He didn't mind at all that I was watching. It seemed he was glad I was there, glad I was showing an interest in what he was doing. I don't remember for sure what he was doing, so maybe he only wants me to remember the love we share. I except this and am grateful for this much of the memory. I do remember our love. It is the greatest love of all. He is our Father in heaven, and his kind, loving holiness is greater than words can express. This cherished memory is clear as a bell in my mind, and the peaceful, loving feeling is still deep in my heart.

I remember a time that I had thought about something that did not please God. I don't remember what the thought was, but I remember going to him right away like metal drawn to a magnet; you just go, knowing that your thought was disappointing. You are called to him, and you can ask for forgiveness, and he forgives you. When you are forgiven, it is also forgotten. He lets it go, he takes it away from you, he erases it from your mind, and you don't think of it again. God doesn't get angry. You just know he is disappointed. There is no angry punishment whatsoever. It is punishment enough to know that God was not pleased.

There were some spirits I remember who would not ask for forgiveness right away. They didn't automatically trust his judgment and fairness as I did. These spirits would slightly challenge the right and wrong of whatever they were called to him for. God would handle them with love and kindness and show them right from wrong. They would accept the answer and ask for forgiveness and would be forgiven.

I remember that, not only were the spirits subject to answering to God, but the angels were too. God has thousands of angels. There was one angel that would be called to God over and over again. The angel would challenge God more and more. It soon became annoying, because he would try to get others involved somehow. This was not good, because when you meet with God, it is between you and God, you don't involve anyone else. This angel came to me one time and was wanting my support on his argument. This was none of my business, and I would not get involved. But I remember something about trying to get him to stop this nonsense, and he refused. I'm not sure what was going on there, or why, I only remember I didn't like the feeling of it, and there didn't seem to be any point in it. I remember feeling very sad about all of this. Then I remember seeing this angel and a lot of other angels and spirits falling away from us out of Gods light, out into the dark. I remember feeling like crying when this happened, and I I was so glad I was not among them. I don't know where they went or what became of them. This was the only time anything like this ever happened. It felt like a death, so final.

I remember a spirit that I believe could have been Jesus. This spirit was a wonderful friend to everyone and such a joy to be with. Everyone was drawn to him like he was a Big Brother—not just any brother, but the best kind of brother, one you can talk to, who teaches you things, helps you with things. I remember him telling me about the "Time Zone"—which is my word for it, because I can't remember how he referred to it. Everyone eventually goes to the "Time Zone." It is a place where you can get to know things you cannot experience in heaven. It's a kind of schooling to become what you will become when you return to heaven. Like going to college to become a doctor. It in "Time Zone" you learn all of the things which are significant to what you will be when you return.

Another cherished memory is of Jesus's turn to go to the "Time Zone." I remember feeling I would miss him while he was gone. (Surprisingly, it didn't take long at all. It seems he was back before very long.) Unlike when other spirits left for the "Time Zone," when Jesus left, every spirit in heaven witnessed it. The heavens seemed to SING, and SPARKLE, like glitter. It was so beautiful, and we all had such an awesome feeling of excitement. What a heart pounding memory this is!

My memories about his return are confused at times—I think due to the Bible stories which don't quite line up with what I remember. Somehow I could see things here on earth during Jesus's "Time Zone." It was scary the way men treated him. I remember feeling ill and hardly able to watch his torment as they stuck spears in his sides, hit him with whips, pulled his hair viciously, scratched and clawed him. I don't know if I knew why they were cruel to Jesus, but I do remember my shock at the way this kind, gentle soul was being mistreated. I remember seeing Jesus hanging on a post or tree trunk and the wrenching pain on his face and in his heart. I remember thinking WHY!!! Oh dear God, why does it hurt him so? And why does it hurt me so much to watch? (Watching it made me fearful. I did not want to go to the "Time Zone" where this kind of mean, hateful people were. I remember not being ready for a long time to go through my "Time Zone" because of this. I put it off as long as I could.)

Then Jesus was released from the "Time Zone" and returned to us in heaven. There was such a magnificent transformation in him that I forgot, for the moment, about all his torment. There was so much love in him. He seemed to have become so much bigger, and the brightness of his light shown so radiantly. Everyone was glad to see him, and—like when he left—the heavens SANG so beautifully, and SPARKLED and TWINKLED like freshly fallen snow in the sunlight. He had become "more" than he was before he left. What he learned here had everything to do with his preparation for what he became. He took on a huge lesson from here.

When there was a time for me to go to the "Time Zone," I remember talking to Jesus about my fears of going. He understood fully and did not make me feel foolish or try to rush me to get over my fears. He would always reassure me, saying that I would be fine because he would always be with me to guide and protect me. When I finally decided to go, I was still scared, but I also trusted him with my life. I wanted to get this over with so I could become more than I was.

I asked Jesus what if I didn't succeed in what I am suppose to accomplish because of so much corruption in the world. I said I was afraid of failing my mission or not learning my lesson. He reassured me that no matter what, everything that happens is part of the lesson I must learn. He said to always do everything for love, with love, and because of love. Then everything else would fall into place, and I would be fine.

I decided right then that I would remember as much as I could about heaven and about the reasons I needed to go to the "Time Zone." As I was thinking this, I found myself falling through a long, endless tunnel of swirling colored lights. I was overwhelmed, I was traveling so much faster than I was use to. Then I must have passed out or something. The next thing I remember is waking up again and wondering where I was. It was dark but not scary. It was warm, and I felt safe for now and would go to sleep again. I would wake up again and feel like there is not enough room in this place for me, and what am I doing here any way? I saw my hands and wondered, what is this? As I was sleeping once, it occurred to me where I had come from, and I jolted awake again.

It took years to realize that these memories were from when I was inside my mother's womb.

There are other memories that I have sometimes. I just need more time to think about them. The ones I am sharing with you here are the ones I remember most often. With the help God gives me to keep these memories intact and as true as I can remember them, I have shared them with you in simple words. May God bless you all with his love and grace. Please, always remember to do whatever you do in your life with love, for love, and because of love. Do this, and everything else will fall together. Also remember that God is with you no matter what. He never leaves you. He loves you more than you know.

Marilyn Williams