I
felt his enormous spirit and knew that I had always been a part of him,
that in reality I had never been away from him. And I knew that I was worthy
to be with him, to embrace him. I knew that he was aware of all my sins
and faults, but that they didn't matter right now. He just wanted to hold
me and share his love with me, and I wanted to share mine with him.
There was no
questioning who he was, I knew that he was my Savior, and friend, and God.
He was Jesus Christ, who had always loved me, even when I thought he hated
me. He was life itself, love itself, and his love gave me a fullness of
joy, even to overflowing. I knew that I had known him from the beginning,
from long before my earth life, because my spirit remembered him.
All my life
I had feared him, and I now sawI knewthat he was my choicest
friend. Gently, he opened his arms and let me stand back far enough to look
into his eyes, and he said, "Your death was premature, it is not yet your
time." No words ever spoken have penetrated me more than these. Until then,
I had felt no purpose in life; I had simply ambled along looking for love
and goodness but never really knowing if my actions were right. Now, within
his words, I felt a mission, a purpose; I didn't know what it was, but I
knew that my life on earth had not been meaningless.
It was not
yet my time.
My time would
come when my mission, my purpose, my meaning in this life was accomplished.
I had a reason for existing on earth. But even though I understood this,
my spirit rebelled. Did this mean I would have to go back? I said to
him, "No, I can never leave you now."
He understood
what I meant, and his love and acceptance for me never wavered. My thoughts
raced on: "Is this Jesus, God, the being I feared all my life! He is nothing
like what I had thought. He is filled with love." |